dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Just pee around me
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
