I faked an abortion last night.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
