used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
