I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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