So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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