Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
