Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
