I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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