If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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