her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I am available for nakedness
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
