So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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