btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
