Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
