so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
This girl is more easily done than said...
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
