I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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