when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
