I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
