Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Randomize
