Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
