If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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