yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
