how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It was confusing and full of hummus
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
