I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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