I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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