thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
