I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
My feet surprised me
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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