Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
