happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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