Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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