But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
