This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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