cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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