So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
