How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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