I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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