there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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