Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
