That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
