I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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