I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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