I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
