can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
