"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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