She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
