just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
