Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
