tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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