Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
