BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
