I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
