things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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