I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
