i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Say something about gay babies.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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